What if he had a knife*

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*To eat his burger with

There’s a bit of squad rotation going on down at Pie Towers as Dylan continues his spell on the sidelines gallivanting around the world and another shock omission as Alan is called away to work in London. 

But it’s transfer deadline day so we plug the gaps by inviting former Wigan Athletic youngster John Coyne on, to tell us a bit about his time at the club and growing up watching Everton as a Scouser in Wigan.

We discuss the much heralded return of Jordi Gomez (in these parts anyway) and review the season so far concluding that we’re just lacking that bit of quality or alternatively CALDWELL’S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH HE HAS TO GO!!

And speaking of talking in capitals, we talk meltdowns, that word, ubiquitous of social media, to describe the fact that everybody nowadays has a voice, and my word, are they going to let you hear it. Some of them even do pretentious podcasts where we talk even more.

Is there really any difference between the modern meltdown and that age old tradition of moaning that Wiganers are so proficient at anyway?

As if to demonstrate this and show the fine mastery some Latics fans have over the English language,  Ian and Chris produce some of their favourite meltdown tweets of the month containing no end of expletives aimed at Dan Burn and Gary Caldwell.

Of course having a guest also gives us a different perspective on matters, except we discover that it is the same everywhere and “Where’s the McCarthy money gone?” is currently being replicated over the border, except it’s “Where’s the John Stones money gone?”

Turns out it’s not just a Wigan thing after all, we’re just better at it.

We close the meltdown section with an amusing tale from John about a former Latics reserve and current Salford City player

We have the shortest Italian football preview in the world before heralding the arrival of Big Sam Allardyce and falling in and out of love with the national side.

And we briefly, once again, give a few other sports the once over (NB no rugby this month!)  before taking a retrospective look at the Olympics and whether pie eating will ever be an Olympic sport.

And then the topic which caused the first major spat in our short podcast history. Call it BURGER GATE,  CUTLERY GATE OR even KNIFEANDFORKONAPLATEGATEMATE, it quickly became clear that this was a topic which would create a rift that may never be healed.

You see one of our number who shall remain nameless, although he may or may have not written this piece, admitted to receiving a particularly messy burger and reaching for the cutlery to eat it with. Fortunately, he received back up from our Manchester dwelling guest who is a regular at places such as Almost Famous and So Lita where the burgers are nearly as big as the plate itself and nearly a foot tall.

The other two shook their heads in mild disgust but Alan was at this stage blissfully unaware as he simultaneously munched on his squid starter in a pub in London. However, once he got wind of this revelation, he didn’t so much take umbrage as kidnap said umbrage and whisk it off on a round the world tour. I DID IT ONCE. OK THEN TWICE. But out of necessity not choice!

Thankfully, Chris lightens the mood by mentioning that his local pub does Yorkshire Pudding burritos and John mentions numerous poncey but ace Manchester eateries.

We conclude with some Sheffield things in advance of the game against Wednesday on, erm Saturday, where Ian drags the tone down further, if that’s even possible, by mentioning the time he went to Hillsborough to watch the rugby and of course there’s the obligatory bit of Human League to wrap things up with.

You can listen to The Pie At Night Podcast in full here

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And if you’re desperately awaiting new content, then Podcast number 8 should be with you very soon….


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