Location: A parallel universe

[phone rings]

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: “Hi there, my chum runs casinos and gave me this football club. It’s losing £1m a month, I’d like to liquidate it please”

PROFESSIONAL, EDUCATED VOICE: “Well, you could indeed do that. However, as a corporate and ethical professional (and a football fan), I should really advise you that you have a player who AC Milan offered £8m for in Jan and a free scoring international centre forward who could probably flog for another £8m, if you just hold tight for a month or two until the transfer window opens. You should then maybe put the club up for sale, and someone will probably pay £8-£10m for a mid table Championship club with a first team and academy full of profitable assets. You’ll easily get £25m back.”

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: “I can’t be bothered, I’ve just been told to get rid. Why don’t you do it instead? Don’t you want to make a shedload of money?”

PROFESSIONAL, EDUCATED VOICE: Well, as it happens…..

 

FIN.

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• Tags: How to ruin a football club, latics, Leeches, WAFC, wigan, Wigan Athletic