You know how it works, I might have never got past dreaming of half an hour as a sub at Springfield Park (set your sights low and still fail) but, every boys’ dream is to lead his country out in the World Cup final. Then you get to about 17 and that changes to dreaming of seeing your country lift that lump of gold that they last got anywhere near before you were born. Then, sometime around your thirtieth you get all realistic and downgrade to just actually getting into the stadium to see any two teams compete for football’s biggest prize.
I did have vague ideas about Germany in 2006, but I’ve got my eyes firmly on 2018, what with being lazy and being away game adverse these days. But not once did it occur to me to trek nearly 6,000 miles to South Africa, even without the threat of carjacking, murder and mayhem. This is where the veritable Johnny Bogroll comes in. He’s survived an Iranian snatch squad, an Turkmen dirty old man and even (just about) managed to get to West Ham away so a trip to the Rainbow Nation should be a cinch, right.
We’ll we found out this summer as for four weeks Johnny regaled us at Not a Patch on Harry Lyon with his tales from South Africa. Part Carry On, part Rough Guide Johnny takes us through crack central, gets involved in the kidnap of a local coach driver and fetches up being attacked by big cats. In the meantime your humble host was at home, getting tipsy and trying to explain the game to a four year old, not that easy a task at the best of times, surely more difficult than avoiding a football result for a couple of hours?
Now his adventures have been compiled into one easy, cut out and keep guide. Call it a book, a booklet, a pamphlet, a magazine or whatever. You won’t be able to call it a rip off as we’re giving it to you for nothing. Click the link below and in a few short minutes you’ll have some handy bogside reading for you and your mates.
Have fun, we did.
Download “Don’t get up, we’ll let ourselves in” from here:
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