Just think, in a couple of years, when the Northern Powerhouse has sorted itself out and Northern Trains have managed to how to run a rail service, Leeds will just be up the road. It’ll be easier to get there than Leigh. But for now, it’s not. In fact, it’s way too much of a pain in the arse to get to. Especially when you’re just looking for someone to ask some irrelevant questions about a football match.
So, to Edinburgh it is, where we got hold of a leading light in the West Yorks branch of the Pathetic Casuals, Rob Holmes. Rob is currently preparing for next year’s London Marathon by soaking up the Edinburgh Fringe and macaroni pies…
1) How’s the season going? Have you forgiven us for ruining last year yet?
Oh god do HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT? Last season’s game is at Elland Road was personally amongst my most harrowing experiences…. almost like an outer body experience. Horrific in every way that was almost inevitable, I haven’t read a single match report or seen the highlights…. I’m pretending it never happened.
Leeds won 1-0, right?
2) Throwing games, spying, sitting on a pouffe during games. It was all Bielsa’s fault really, wasn’t it? Is he a genius, or just a very naughty boy?
It’s utterly mad that he’s our coach. We’ve gone from hiring Irn bru guzzling Steve Evans to hiring a living saint.
He’s warm, kind, spiritual and a huge fan of club gear. Without being of overly gushy about the love of my life, there’s a reason fans of clubs he managed make the pilgrimage to watch his sides play wherever he goes.
He lives and breathes football in the same way all football fans do, he’s completely changed the relationship between the fans and the players in my eyes. We all knew I reckon that it would ultimately fall over into a burning mess, but who needs trophies when Marcelo tells you it’ll be alright…
A post Leeds after Bielsa doesn’t bare thinking about, although I am massively looking forward to following him to wherever he goes next to share beer and tapas with whoever is lucky enough to have him in charge of their club.
3) ‘Ere. That Pontus Jansen is a wag, eh? What went on there, I thought he was a cult hero.
He was always a Chrisword (can I say that?) but he was our Chrisword it’s fairly obvious he was a very demanding, difficult character with several stories now coming out about his abrasive character. All of which brilliantly timed to deflect his sale, not at all placed in the hands of the press by the club.
It’s personally pretty funny to see him now described in certain dark corners (hello Facebook) as soft, weak and likely to go missing like the jilted lovers that we are yet he’ll be missed without a doubt, he went a long way to restoring the bond between players and fans again after the Sicknote 6 debacle and at times he was a ferocious defender.
Sod him anyway, we’ve got Ben White now.
4) Plenty of us will still be too busy working out who our players are during the game, so can you help us out by telling us who’s good and who’s sh**e in the Leeds team? How do you see the game panning out?
The goalkeeper likes to play just of the shoulder of our midfield and he’s a lunatic, so expect lots of gasps and yelps as he darts out to lunge at whoever is playing up top for the tics this year.
Kalvin Phillips loves his gran and he’s far too good to be playing in this division, he gets bonus points for being from Wortley (a couple of goal kicks from ER). Ben White might be ace, he’s not as moody as Pontus and he’s made a very impressive start. Klich is tireless runner who’ll create oodles of space for others and then there is Pablo. Sweet sweet magnificent Pablo.
He’s the eyes of a man that seen some terrible things but he’s a become our focal point, he makes us pure and is likely to conjure something from nothing.
5) Are you coming to the game on Saturday? Do you have a suitably pathetic route planned?
I just can’t face Wigan again right now… unlike the majority of fans it seems last season is taking me some while to get over! I’ve replaced Saturday football with some delightful vegetarian tapas built around the fringe and the delights of Hibernian v Greenock Morton….
6) Being Yorkshire, your lot will probably be bringing their own pies on Saturday. What’s likely to be the one of choice? What flavour would you pick and how do you go about attacking it?
I’m a split in half kinda guy, my delicate features can’t take all that steam.
I’m a recent convert to the magnificence of the butter pie, which has got to be best thing to come out of Lancashire since Michael Vaughan. As I’m north of the border this weekend I will eating as many macaroni pies as I can muster without having a heart attack, anyone that decides to encase pasta in pastry and cover it melted cheese is either a genius or a madman.
So Bielsa then?
A big thanks to Rob for taking time out for his busy schedule of fancy dannery to humour us. You can help us thank him by chucking him a couple of quid for his London Marathon effort. It’s all going towards a great cause, Muscular Dystrophy UK.
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