After shambolically failing to find a Peterborough fan to interview last weekend, I’d committed to putting more effort in this week, only to wake up this morning, realising I’d spent most of my week travelling to and from Bristol, getting frustrated at the quality of mobile internet and not bothering to even think about Sixy Talking.
Don’t panic though, a quick trawl through my contacts and I found someone who might be able to get me in touch with Colchester’s two most famous sons. Dylan Harris, king pin of the Wigan social scene in the noughties, entrepreneur and favourite travel agent of the Daily Mail couldn’t put us in touch with our intended targets at short notice, so we made him stand in, instead…
1) You must have one or else I wouldn’t be sat here asking you these stupid questions, so what’s your connection with Colchester?
I’ve got two pretty tenuous links to Colchester. I was once interviewed on Radio 6 by Colchester’s only celebrity fan, Steve Lamacq. We didn’t talk about football but we did talk about my djing history and how in my first job I was told by the club manager I should play Simply the Best as there were a big group of Rugby fans in after a game. I played Heroin by Velvet Underground instead and was swiftly sacked.
Secondly I’ve spent some time in North Korea with Colchester’s most famous son, Damon Albarn.
2) So any idea why Damon Albarn doesn’t support Colchester United then?
He moved to London when he was 9 and supported Chelsea ever since and still goes there regularly. I don’t recall any conversation we had about Colchester but we had a good chat about Wigan’s FA Cup win.
3) Have you ever been to Colchester away on Tuesday night? Are you concerned about the affect that has on your standing as a Latics fan?
I haven’t. The last time I remember us playing them on a Tuesday night was in the late 90’s. I was working a crappy library job at Manchester uni for £2.50 a hour and I kept nipping to the toilet every ten minutes to get score updated on the radio. Liddell got a last minute equaliser if I remember correctly.
4) Who’s our best left back and why?
Well, if Andrew Taylor was still here it certainly wouldn’t be him. One of my favourite ever messageboard posts was one posted just as he left us last year “He’s fucking rubbish. He was a highlight of shit in a shit season full of shit. He was our first signing of last summer and throughout the season we signed another 3 left backs. Because he was that shit. At one point during a game I turned to my Dad and said “That Andrew Taylor is shit, Dad.” He turned me and said. “He’s shit isn’t he?”
5) Oh, yeah, the game. How’s it going to go tomorrow? Who’s the key players on each side (feel free to phone a friend on that second part)?
I have been wrong with 100% of my predictions and bets this season so I’m hoping I keep up that dire record by predicting a 1-0 win for Colchester.
Colchester have been poor this season with by far the worst defence in all 4 leagues. I’d like to see Grigg continue his good run of form and bag a couple. As for Colchester, it’s probably going to be George Moncur. He’s been the only decent thing about them this season by the look of things and no doubt they’ll lose him once/if they’re relegated.
6) Pies, what’s your favourite filling, how do you eat it?
Peppered steak by a country mile. Eaten with my hands and taking in a good chunk of pastry, crust and filling with each bite.
Dylan was still suffering from, erm, jet lag from his latest trek to Eritrea scoping out a new tour for Lupine Travel, so we’re grateful for him taking the time out to speak to us. If you haven’t come across them, Lupine organised a lot of fans trips to Maribor and Kazan a couple of years ago and offer tours to some of the worlds more, interesting locations. You can find them at lupinetravel.co.uk
Dylan has also been busy on the music promotion front recently and Lupine are currently planning a comeback gig for Dirty Circus, promising the same big, hard-hitting elctro-indie with attitude that ruffled feathers back in the mid-2000s. The gig is scheduled for 22 April at the Old Courts, Wigan and will be followed by a, not as regular as they should be, Northern Lights club night. More info here can be found on the Lupine Facebook page.