He’s no Jamie Barnwell-Edinboro

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But he does have a double barrelled name. You could actually think up a team of players with double barrelled names starting with Peter Rhoades-Brown in nets, Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Kevin Prince-Boateng at the back, Mark Bridge-Wilkinson and Gary Taylor-Fletcher in midfield, the Wright-Phillips brothers on the wing with Jay Emmanuel-Thomas and Quincy Owusu-Abeyie up front.


I can’t think of many who’ve worn the blue and white though over the years apart from the aforementioned Jamie E-B, oh and of course Jordi-f**king-Gomez. Anyway, Wigan Athletic have been linked with a £3m bid for Peterborough hotshot Craig Mackail Smith who banged in 35 goals last year in Peterborough’s promotion season. He has played and bagged a few at Championship level but whether this translates as the ability to score goals at a Premier league level remains to be seen.


Mackail-Smith or CMS to give him his probable name is 27 and came into the game late after playing Non League football for several years and ultimately scoring the goals which got Dagenham & Redbridge into the Football League. Although he has recently been capped by Scotland due to the old dubious grandparent connection, he has also played for the England C team in the past. Mind you, so have I.


He looks a little bit like Jimmy Bullard, whom we also signed from Peterborough so like Jimmy, he could be ABSOLUTELY MAAAADDDDD AND WACKY, but he might be a quiet family chap who doesn’t keep Koi carp, only time will tell. He has just been described by a TNS forum poster as looking like the ‘offspring of Dirk Kuyt and Robbie Savage’ but then Franco di Santo’s a good looking lad who can’t even hold the gun the right way around at a rifle range so looks aren’t everything. His picture’s up there anyway, freshly nicked from some website or other…


If we sign him, he could cost £3m and I presume would be a useful player to come off the bench or play wide and cut inside. It also probably means that we’re about to sell someone


Anyway, welcome to Wigan CMS, if there is any truth in the rumour that you are about to join our smashing little football club

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