We’ve been building up to this for a while. Regular readers and listeners will be aware of our feature where we discuss those Wigan Athletic players who covered themselves in something less illustrious than glory and the letter K has generally been thought of a fiercely anticipated contest.
But first, the disclaimers and a brief confirmation that neither Kevin Kilbane or Ian Kilford are worthy of inclusion. Motion passed, they’re not going in.
So we begin in earnest with Olivier Kapo, an early and definite shoe in for a spot. The next big name is Jason Koumas, a big money buy who barely concealed the fact he couldn’t be bothered by tripping over crisp packets and sending apprentices to the bookie on his behalf. All possibly allegedly but probably not.
The next big hitter if you’ll pardon the pun is none other than Marlon King. The former free scoring ex jailbird was an expensive non goal scoring flop during his brief time at Wigan.
Alan then throws in a couple of hapless stoppers in the form of glassbacked Scotsman Stewart Kerr and the more exotic but no less inept Richard Kingson, who let’s not forget played in a World Cup quarter final against an even more inept former Wigan Athletic goalie.
We move further back to murkier times with Jimmy throwing Norman Kelly in for no other reason then he was dating Jenny (not Sally) Bradley off Corrie.
Rob Kiernan is the subject of some spirited discussion as is the tentative inclusion of William Kvist. One gets dismissed, the other gets included.
The somewhat anonymous Ryan Kirby gets brought up as does Alan Kennedy, another in the school of David Fairclough “signed ten years after he retired” mould.
In fact we had nearly enough Kennedys in there to fill a poll on their own with dirty Mick Kennedy and Peter Kennedy also put up for consideration. The latter perhaps a tad harsh for that goal at Bristol City alone.
Still they keep coming, with Ian’s nomination of Jeff Kenno dismissed, largely ineffective but he did play and score in that hilarious 6-1 against Sjoke (old school insult there).
There’s also some debate around Jonjoe Kenny, Polish “wonderkid” Tomasz Kupisz and whether K is the appropriate letter to include Kim Bo Kyung in. Finally, we ask does Kyle Knoyle really exist given his name is an anagram of Kyle No Kyle?
After originally considering 3 or 4 semi finals (does that even work) we whittled it down to eight names with Olivier Kapo winning the first semi final with a landslide vote.
The second semi was a bit closer with Marlon King seeing off Jason Koumas (with a backhander perhaps?) and the pair of them leaving two cack keepers in their wake.
The final was contested by the truly useless trio of Kapo, King and Koumas with Rob Kiernan making up the numbers. Personally I thought Koumas might have prevailed but as you can see, long after he departed, it seems Marlon has finally won something in the name of Wigan Athletic.
And like most of his deeds, it’s hardly something to be proud of……
If you want to hear our considered views on this and other nonsense then we’ve got just the thing for you in the latest episode of the Pie at Night podcast. Episode 19, A Return to the Status Quo, of the Pie at Night Podcast, is available now, via your favourite podcast app, on our Soundcloud page or via the player below. Enjoy…
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